So a couple of days ago I found out that my best friend's friend had committed suicide. She wasn't in school yesterday and is not coping with it very well. I just don't know how to respond to death. No one in my life has ever died and I just don't know how to cope. Today I also got an A star in Spanish yay and 13/16 in my History test. Got an ambassador interview tomorrow which I'm really nervous about. I just have to be confident about it and it'll be fine.
Do you ever just feel like your head is so heavy with thoughts that you find it hard to breathe? That's what I feel like right now. My head is like a fish bowl with millions of little fish swimming around my mind, so many I can't count them. It's getting so heavy that I can no longer keep it up and I feel like I'm about to collapse with the weight of it. I'm trying desperately but getting up in the morning is becoming harder and harder knowing that everyday at school is a stress.
Seeing him is the worst part. Knowing that I'll never be with him or be able to tousle his gorgeous blonde hair and knowing I'll never be able to wake up to that smile. Or all the exams. Or the homework. As if we don't have enough work to do at school for 8 hours then they give us like 4 hours more homework. Along with revision. How does that make sense? Oh and then they expect us to eat well and exercise and sleep for 8 hours and attend extra-curricular clubs and spend time with our families.
Anyway sorry to be so depressing xxx
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